General News
NARCISSISM, SUBSTANCE ADDICTION IN HOMES
By Stacey Ukaobasi
There is a dangerous combination destroying families from the inside: narcissism fueled by addiction. On their own, each one is destructive. But when they meet in one person, the result is a silent war that breaks homes, destroys confidence, damages children, and drains the life out of anyone tied to them.
Narcissists do not care who they hurt as long as they get validation from outsiders. They are masters of image.
To the world, they are saints ,kind, generous, supportive, charming.
At home, behind closed doors, they become something else entirely.cold, cruel, dismissive, manipulative, abusive, and emotionally monstrous.
They can give an outsider their last breath just to be praised. They can cry on command, cook up stories, and twist reality to fool their followers. To the public, they are victims. To their families, they are tormentors.
They do not want anyone close to them to succeed. Your success threatens them. They only feel comfortable around people they consider beneath them. They spend their earnings buying validation drinks, gifts, reckless spending while their family suffers. The moment salary enters their hands, they disappear to the streets. Home only matters when their pockets run dry and they need a base to recharge before their next cycle of destruction.
They lie endlessly,stupid lies, unnecessary lies, shameless lies. They miss very important family events, birthdays, milestones, every single family event and responsibilities nomatter how important they are. They will promise to come, give you hope, make you cancel backup plans, then switch off their phone for days. No explanations. No apologies. No accountability. Your pain just does not register at all. They keep their families waiting while they are chilling somewhere drinking and jumping around unbothered.
They lack empathy of any kind. You can be sick, struggling, drowning they will watch from afar until you drag yourself out alone. They isolate when their loved ones are suffering. They disappear and return only when things are calm again. A narcissist can watch you attempt suicide and not lift a finger instead, they record it with their phone not to save you, but to protect themselves.
They are mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. When you don’t report their abuse, it empowers them. Something in their mind tells them they are right. They twist every story, manipulate everyone around them, and always position themselves as the innocent one. They defend outsiders over their own family because validation from strangers is more important to them than loyalty to those who see their true face.
Their lack of empathy makes their behavior feel inhuman. It goes beyond personality flaws it feels darker than anything you can explain with normal language. Their actions are spiritually empty, morally cold, and emotionally dead. There is no remorse, no conscience, no recognition of the damage they cause. What they do is the product of brokenness, addiction, pride, and deep spiritual blindness. It’s like dealing with someone whose soul has shut down, whose heart no longer responds to love, pain, or responsibility.
There is something inside their brain a twisted sense of entitlement that tells them they are always right. No matter what they do, no matter how wrong, how violent, how cruel, or how destructive, their mind convinces them that they are the victim. They justify every abuse. They excuse every attack. They rewrite every story to make themselves look innocent.
To them, you are the problem.
Your pain is irrelevant.
Your suffering is invisible.
Your voice is noise they want to silence.
They are always in debt. No business with them ends well. Their greed and recklessness destroy partnerships. No matter how much money they earn, it vanishes quickly on alcohol, on women, on the people they seek validation from, never on their responsibilities. They are habitual debtors who leave destruction wherever they go.
Inside their head is constant chaos. They don’t listen, they don’t reason, they don’t compromise. They only hear themselves. For outsiders, they become excellent listeners and problem solvers. But for their loved ones, they shut down completely. 9 is their 6 they create arguments because arguments are their oxygen. They never tire, never give up, never admit wrong. They twist every word you say and turn every detail of your life even from before you were even born into a weapon.
They keep multiple women outside the marriage to punish their wives into submission.They do not love their children,they use their own children as tools, dumping responsibilities that should be shared. They have no emotional connection with their kids,the children simply become collateral damage in their ongoing war for control.
Their public image is spotless. They hug you in front of people, act like they love and respect you, but once the door closes, the mask drops, and the real mask emerges.
What they do is the product of brokenness, addiction, pride, and deep spiritual blindness.
Your tears or pain cannot change a narcissist. Marriage does not soften them. Children do not mature them. Prayers cannot break their behavior. They can only change if they themselves choose to. They learn only the hard way through consequences, loss, or public embarrassment. Real change begins only when they accept their mistakes and genuinely commit to long-term therapy.
The only hope is in THEM admitting that their behavior is abusive, taking responsibility without excuses, their loved ones refusing to tolerate or cover for them, and the narcissist willingly choosing to do the inner work.
Some of them are not evil,they are wounded people with deeply broken identities. But even then, healing must be THEIR decision and not your sacrifice.
*STACEY UKAOBASI is the founder of the FORUM FOR CHILD RIGHTS PROMOTION and is a Nigerian activist based in the United States of America.
General News
FUBARA: State Secretariat Reconstruction Project to be delivered Q1 2027
By George Mgbeleke
Governor of Rivers State, Sir Siminalayi Fubara has declared that the State Secretariat Complex which is undergoing massive reconstruction will be ready for use by the first quarter (Q1) of 2027.
The Governor stated this on Monday after a tour of the multiple and expansive high rise buildings, located in the Old GRA, Port Harcourt.
In a statement by his Chief Press Secretary, Onwuka Nzeshi, Governor Fubara who had undertaken a similar tour of the project earlier this year, said he decided to revisit the site to confirm the extent of the job that has been done so far.
“We just did a tour of the renovation of the Secretariat. I have been seeing the outer part of it wearing a new look, but I wanted to really confirm how much job is going on, most importantly, the inside and that is what I just went to inspect myself.
I think that with the progress of work here, by the grace of God, I believe that by the first quarter of next year, it will be handed over to the government. Like I did promise, every job that we are handling, we will ensure that we put them to completion,” he said.
The Rivers State Secretariat was constructed in the 1970s, shortly after Rivers State was created in 1967. It is a massive complex consisting of multiple high-rise buildings, including the 17-storey “Point Block”, the 10-storey “Podium Block” along with three other 7-storey buildings tagged “Blocks A, B and C”.
The ongoing renovation is a comprehensive and transformative upgrade aimed at modernizing the entire complex. It involves structural rehabilitation, improved office layouts, installation of modern facilities, and upgrading of utilities to meet present-day administrative standards. The project is designed to create a more conducive, efficient, and technology-driven work environment for civil servants.
General News
Niger state Civil Service absorbs about 396 health workers from UNICEF, GAVI-supported initiative into its Workforce
By Uthman-Baba Naseer, Minna
A total of 396 health workers engaged previously under a United Nation Children Educational Fund (UNICEF) and GAVI-supported initiative have been fully absorbed into the State Civil Service.
This was disclosed by the Commissioner for Health,Dr. Murtala Mohammed Bagana stated that this is part of a move towards strengthening Healthcare delivery and to address manpower shortages across communities in the State.
The official unveiling and distribution of appointment letters highlighted the government’s commitment to sustaining quality healthcare services at the grassroots level.
Speaking during the ceremony, the Honourable Commissioner for Health represented by the Permanent Secretary, Dr. Abdullahi Imam, explained that healthcare services take place largely within communities and the facilities serving them.
He noted that development partners such as UNICEF and GAVI had earlier identified critical shortages in human resources across healthcare facilities and initiated discussions with the State government to address the challenge.
According to him, “while government may provide modern infrastructure and medical equipment, effective healthcare delivery cannot be achieved without adequate manpower.
“The partners had expressed willingness to invest in young healthcare professionals and sought assurances from the Niger State Government that beneficiaries of the programme would eventually be integrated into permanent service due to the long-term nature of healthcare needs” he stressed
Noting that the previous administration under former Governor Abubakar Sani Bello had signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) to support the initiative, Muhammad Umar Bago reaffirmed the commitment, leading to the eventual absorption of the personnel into the state workforce.
Dr. Bagana further disclosed that the newly employed personnel comprise nurses, midwives and community health workers who have already spent between two and three years rendering services within various communities.
He added that the workers would continue to serve in the same areas where they had built experience and community relationships, adding that many of them could further their education and rise into higher professional cadres.
The Commissioner also commended Governor Muhammad Umar Bago for his continued investments in the health sector, revealing that more than 3,000 healthcare professionals, including doctors, pharmacists, nurses, laboratory scientists and community health workers have so far been recruited within the last three years.
He noted that about 116 Level Two facilities have been upgraded to improve access to services such as maternal healthcare, immunisation, nutrition and laboratory services.
Earlier, the Executive Director of the State Primary Healthcare Development Agency, Dr. Inuwa Junaidu, described the absorption of the GAVI-supported staff as evidence of Governor Bago’s dedication to improving healthcare delivery, saying “human resources remain essential for efficient service delivery”.
Also speaking, Programme Manager Pharm. Daniel Jiya, described the event as the successful outcome of a three-year journey marked by determination and collaboration among stakeholders.
While urging the newly absorbed staff to regard their appointments as a privilege, he charged them to adhere strictly to civil service regulation.
General News
Fubara Renews Commitment to Complete Projects ..As Airport Road Bypass Hits 65%Completion …Says, “We are in High Spirits”
By George Mgbeleke
Governor of Rivers State, Sir Siminalayi Fubara has reassured the people of Rivers State of his administration’s commitment to the completion of the various ongoing infrastructure projects located in different parts of the state.
In a statement by the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Onwuka Nzeshi, the governor who gave this indication on Friday while inspecting the level of work on the new Airport Road Bypass in Port Harcourt, disclosed that the project had reached sixty five per cent (65%) completion stage.
He said that in spite of recent developments on the political scene, he remains in “high spirits,” ready to continue with the task of governance, especially the delivery of projects that will impact positively on the lives of the people.
“I want to assure our people that notwithstanding the situation of things, one thing that I can promise everyone, is that every good work that we have started, by the special grace of God, will continue and we will complete them. We’re in high spirits. Like, we always say, Rivers First,” he said.
Governor Fubara said that his administration conceived the idea of constructing a bypass to the Airport Road to create an alternative route for the communities around the airport and avoid a situation where some of their activities could cause obstruction along the main highway leading to the Port Harcourt International Airport.
“We’ve always had these issues where the community may want to express their anger or dissatisfaction over some activities of the airport authorities, in the process they always block the airport road.
” We thought that in this modern society, such actions are not necessary anymore because whenever it happens, it affects the economic activities of the state. So we liaised with the community and created this bypass,” he said.
Governor Fubara who was conducted round the project site by the contractors, expressed delight at the pace of work on the road, disclosing that the total project will be delivered before October 2026.
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