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NARCISSISM, SUBSTANCE ADDICTION IN HOMES

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Stacey Ukaobasi

By Stacey Ukaobasi

There is a dangerous combination destroying families from the inside: narcissism fueled by addiction. On their own, each one is destructive. But when they meet in one person, the result is a silent war that breaks homes, destroys confidence, damages children, and drains the life out of anyone tied to them.

Narcissists do not care who they hurt as long as they get validation from outsiders. They are masters of image.
To the world, they are saints ,kind, generous, supportive, charming.
At home, behind closed doors, they become something else entirely.cold, cruel, dismissive, manipulative, abusive, and emotionally monstrous.

They can give an outsider their last breath just to be praised. They can cry on command, cook up stories, and twist reality to fool their followers. To the public, they are victims. To their families, they are tormentors.

They do not want anyone close to them to succeed. Your success threatens them. They only feel comfortable around people they consider beneath them. They spend their earnings buying validation drinks, gifts, reckless spending while their family suffers. The moment salary enters their hands, they disappear to the streets. Home only matters when their pockets run dry and they need a base to recharge before their next cycle of destruction.
They lie endlessly,stupid lies, unnecessary lies, shameless lies. They miss very important family events, birthdays, milestones, every single family event and responsibilities nomatter how important they are. They will promise to come, give you hope, make you cancel backup plans, then switch off their phone for days. No explanations. No apologies. No accountability. Your pain just does not register at all. They keep their families waiting while they are chilling somewhere drinking and jumping around unbothered.

They lack empathy of any kind. You can be sick, struggling, drowning they will watch from afar until you drag yourself out alone. They isolate when their loved ones are suffering. They disappear and return only when things are calm again. A narcissist can watch you attempt suicide and not lift a finger instead, they record it with their phone not to save you, but to protect themselves.

They are mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. When you don’t report their abuse, it empowers them. Something in their mind tells them they are right. They twist every story, manipulate everyone around them, and always position themselves as the innocent one. They defend outsiders over their own family because validation from strangers is more important to them than loyalty to those who see their true face.

Their lack of empathy makes their behavior feel inhuman. It goes beyond personality flaws it feels darker than anything you can explain with normal language. Their actions are spiritually empty, morally cold, and emotionally dead. There is no remorse, no conscience, no recognition of the damage they cause. What they do is the product of brokenness, addiction, pride, and deep spiritual blindness. It’s like dealing with someone whose soul has shut down, whose heart no longer responds to love, pain, or responsibility.

There is something inside their brain a twisted sense of entitlement that tells them they are always right. No matter what they do, no matter how wrong, how violent, how cruel, or how destructive, their mind convinces them that they are the victim. They justify every abuse. They excuse every attack. They rewrite every story to make themselves look innocent.
To them, you are the problem.
Your pain is irrelevant.
Your suffering is invisible.
Your voice is noise they want to silence.

They are always in debt. No business with them ends well. Their greed and recklessness destroy partnerships. No matter how much money they earn, it vanishes quickly on alcohol, on women, on the people they seek validation from, never on their responsibilities. They are habitual debtors who leave destruction wherever they go.
Inside their head is constant chaos. They don’t listen, they don’t reason, they don’t compromise. They only hear themselves. For outsiders, they become excellent listeners and problem solvers. But for their loved ones, they shut down completely. 9 is their 6 they create arguments because arguments are their oxygen. They never tire, never give up, never admit wrong. They twist every word you say and turn every detail of your life even from before you were even born into a weapon.

They keep multiple women outside the marriage to punish their wives into submission.They do not love their children,they use their own children as tools, dumping responsibilities that should be shared. They have no emotional connection with their kids,the children simply become collateral damage in their ongoing war for control.

Their public image is spotless. They hug you in front of people, act like they love and respect you, but once the door closes, the mask drops, and the real mask emerges.

What they do is the product of brokenness, addiction, pride, and deep spiritual blindness.

Your tears or pain cannot change a narcissist. Marriage does not soften them. Children do not mature them. Prayers cannot break their behavior. They can only change if they themselves choose to. They learn only the hard way through consequences, loss, or public embarrassment. Real change begins only when they accept their mistakes and genuinely commit to long-term therapy.

The only hope is in THEM admitting that their behavior is abusive, taking responsibility without excuses, their loved ones refusing to tolerate or cover for them, and the narcissist willingly choosing to do the inner work.

Some of them are not evil,they are wounded people with deeply broken identities. But even then, healing must be THEIR decision and not your sacrifice.

*STACEY UKAOBASI is the founder of the FORUM FOR CHILD RIGHTS PROMOTION and is a Nigerian activist based in the United States of America.

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Bayelsa Scales World Bank Hurdle For Water Supply In Yenagoa *PLWDs Honour Gov Diri

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Gov Douye Diri of Bayelsa State

By David Owei,Bayelsa

Bayelsa State has met the World Bank assessment for the supply of potable water across its capital city, Yenagoa, and environs.

Governor Douye Diri disclosed this on Wednesday during the 196th State Executive Council meeting held in Government House, Yenagoa.

He described the development as “good news” for Bayelsans, stating that the bank will, in collaboration with state government officials, begin mapping of Yenagoa and some neighboring communities for water infrastructure deployment.

Senator Diri noted that with ongoing efforts to achieve stable electricity and potable water supply, his administration would have delivered the basic requirements for societal growth.

His words: “We have been on this water thing with the World Bank, and Bayelsa is one of the states that has passed the hurdle of the bank.

“So the World Bank will alongside our state government officials go round the whole of Yenagoa and some neighboring places. They will deploy geo-mapping and also sensitise the people on this water supply project to Bayelsans.”

He further stated that by providing water, electricity, road infrastructure, schools and health facilities, his administration was laying a solid foundation to attract private sector investment to the state.

The Bayelsa helmsman stressed that government was not always the best businessman and advocated public-private partnership as the way forward for industrialising the state.

He called on Bayelsans to take advantage of the foundation being laid by his administration, adding that outsiders might see the economic opportunities in the state before them.

“Investments do not hang in the air. We have seen how some other some past governors made certain investments but those investments are now a shadow of themselves. I believe every economy is mostly private sector driven,” Diri said.

“Sometimes we may not even see the opportunities as Bayelsans. It is outsiders that see them before our people. So let us open our eyes to the opportunities for economic growth.”

During the meeting, the governor received an Award of Excellence for Disability Inclusion presented by the Commissioner for Women, Child Empowerment and Social Development, Mrs. Joanna Gigi.

According to the commissioner, the recognition from Persons Living With Disabilities (PLWDs) was for the governor’s commitment to disability inclusion, particularly his assent to the Persons Living with Disabilities Law 2026, which she described as a significant milestone for the state.

The PLWDs also acknowledged the administration’s efforts under the Assured Prosperity Agenda, which saw to the appointment of 40 persons with disabilities into government positions, and the employment of over 20 physically challenged persons into the state civil service.

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NAS takes back to school campaign to Bayelsà School, promotes education, literacy, academic excellence ….donate school bags, books, inaugurates Reading club

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By David Owei

The National Association of Seadogs (Pyrates Confraternity), Oxbow Marino Deck has taken the ‘Back-to School’s campaign to secondary schools in Bayelsà State to promote education, literacy, academic excellence and a sustainable reading culture among secondary school students, while providing essential educational materials to support their academic development.

The campaign which was kick-started at the Tarakiri Community Secondary School, Ayama-Ijaw, Southern Ijaw Local Government Area of Bayelsa State is an
initiative also sought to establish a sustainable platform through the creation of a Reading Club within the school, thereby ensuring that the impact of the intervention extends beyond the project day.

The Cap’n of Oxbow Marino Deck, Arch. Timiebi Binafeigha, who led a delegation of members of the National Association of Seadogs, to the Tarakiri Community Secondary School,explained the purpose of the Deck’s visit to the school, stating that the intervention was a pilot project being launched at Tarakiri Community Secondary School, with the intention of replicating and expanding similar initiatives in other schools and communities in the future.

He encouraged the students to take the programme seriously and make effective use of the educational materials being provided.

The Cap’n of Oxbow Marino Deck, Arch. Timiebi Binafeigha, who led a delegation of members of the National Association of Seadogs had earlier feature on the state owned Radio Station 97.1 FM Radio Bayelsà on its advocacy effort to promote the Back-to-School campaign.

Also speaking, the Principal of the school, Mrs. Mathew Ebitei, encouraged the students to pay close attention to the reading culture advocacy and to take advantage of the knowledge and opportunities provided through the project.

She expressed her appreciation to the members of the National Association of Seadogs, Oxbow Marino Deck, for choosing Tarakiri Community Secondary School for the intervention.

The Advocacy session, which was delivered by the renowned author and educationist, Madam Annete David-West on the theme“The Importance of Reading, Literacy, Academic Excellence and Personal Development.” emphasized the critical role of reading in academic success, intellectual development, character formation and personal growth.

The students were encouraged to cultivate reading as a daily habit, broaden their knowledge beyond classroom lessons and develop the discipline required to achieve academic excellence.

The advocacy also highlighted the importance of literacy as a foundation for lifelong learning and personal development.

A major component of the project was the establishment and inauguration of the Tarakiri Community Secondary School Reading Club with the appointment of the English Teacher of the school, Mrs. Faith Orubo as the Matron/Coordinator of the Reading Club.

New members of the Reading Club were formally inducted, with students encouraged to participate actively in the club’s activities and make reading an integral part of their academic and personal development.

The students were further encouraged to take their studies seriously and to see education as an important pathway to achieving their future aspirations.

Miss Havila Ebimere Binafeigha participated in the reading session, demonstrating the importance of reading and encouraging students to develop confidence and interest in reading.

Approximately ten (10) books were subsequently donated to the newly inaugurated Reading Club to provide students with additional reading resources and support the sustainability of the initiative.

The detailed presentation of the educational intervention was made by the 2nd Mate of Oxbow Marino Deck, Mr. Oti Premobowei and educational materials were presented to students across the SS1, SS2 and SS3 classes.

The items included School bags;
Five (5) branded exercise books per beneficiary; English Language textbooks; Mathematics textbooks;
Social Studies textbooks; and
Other educational materials.

Students in JS3 were also included in the intervention and received school bags and exercise books.

The inclusion of students across different classes was intended to ensure broader participation and impact.

In recognition of the importance of personal hygiene to the overall wellbeing and academic participation of students, NIVEA roll-ons were also distributed to participants, including the teachers.

This component complemented the educational intervention by promoting good personal hygiene and encouraging students to maintain healthy personal habits.

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Deputy Senate President Attends World Hausa Day Celebration in Ghana, Urges Youth to Preserve, Promote Cultural Heritage * Awards Scholarships

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Deputy presidenf of ɓhe Senate, Senator Barau I Jibrin, in Accra addresses the auden

By our correspondent

The Deputy President of the Senate, Senator Barau I Jibrin, was in Accra, the capital of the Republic of Ghana, where he urged youth to key into the promotion and preservation of cultural heritage.

He made the remarks as a Guest of Honour at the World Hausa Day 2026 celebration organised by Hausa Youth Ghana at the Forecourt of the State House, Accra, at the weekend.

He commended Hausa Youth Ghana for promoting the Hausa language, culture and heritage, describing the initiative as a significant contribution to strengthening the relationship between Ghana and Nigeria.

He was accompanied by the Chairman, Senate Committee on Army and Chairman, Northern Senators Forum, Senator Abdulazeez Yar’Adua; Chairman, Senate Committee on Tertiary Institutions and TETFUND, Senator Muntari Dandutse; and Chairman, Senate Committee on Basic and Secondary Education, Senator Lawal Adamu Usman.

In a statement by his Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Ismail Mudashir, the Deputy President of the Senate described World Hausa Day as an important platform for celebrating the rich heritage, language, culture and identity of the Hausa people, while promoting friendship, unity and mutual understanding among communities.

He noted that Hausa is much more than a means of communication, stressing that the language has, for centuries, served as a bridge among people across West Africa and played significant roles in commerce, scholarship, diplomacy, literature, traditional institutions and social interaction.

According to him, the widespread use of Hausa across national borders reflects the deep historical, cultural and social connections that exist among Africans.

“Ghana and Nigeria share a long history of interaction in trade, education, migration, culture and diplomacy. The Hausa community in Ghana has also continued to make meaningful contributions to the social and economic development of the country while preserving its cultural heritage,” he said.

Senator Barau, who is the First Deputy Speaker of the ECOWAS Parliament, stressed that the continued survival of the Hausa language depends largely on its transmission from one generation to another, urging young people to take the lead in preserving, promoting and modernising the language.

He challenged Hausa youth in Ghana and across Africa to take pride in their heritage and channel it towards building a better future.

He urged them to pursue quality education, acquire modern skills, embrace innovation, establish businesses, create opportunities for others and contribute positively to the communities in which they live.

In a significant gesture towards supporting education and the preservation of the Hausa language, Senator Barau awarded scholarships to two members of the Hausa community in Ghana to study Hausa Language at the undergraduate or postgraduate level in Nigerian universities.

He also extended warm greetings to the Government and people of the Republic of Ghana, reaffirming the importance of the enduring friendship and strong relations between Ghana and Nigeria.

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