By Stacey Ukaobasi

Divorced women in Africa and even in western countries carry a weight heavier than the separation itself. Society often refuses to see them as individuals rebuilding their lives. Instead, people watch them with suspicion, pass negative judgments, or view them as persons with entitlement mentality, and this assessments are made especially by men who suddenly assume that divorce or separation from ones spouse makes her cheaply available as a plaything.

A divorced woman recently shared a painful but common story. After her divorce, men she respected,married family friends, trusted acquaintances, even people she once saw as role models suddenly began hitting on her. Some asked to visit her house. Others tried to position themselves as “helpers” but with clear ulterior motives.

This is a young, beautiful, God fearing,hardworking and well established woman who has her own values and knows exactly the kind of man she would ever consider. Yet these men assumed that because she is divorced, she must be desperate,lonely,available, or automatically attracted to them. And when she politely rejected them, they felt insulted.These men lacked the emotional intelligence to understand one simple truth.A woman being divorced does not automatically make you her type. People have a type or what modern people call my spec. Divorce does not reset that.

Too many men lack the awareness to know that a woman’s divorce does not suddenly make her open to anyone.They even feel insulted when she says, “You are not my type”and while some divorced women can boldly reject such men, many others become extremely vulnerable not by choice but by circumstance.

In Nigeria especially,many single mothers face lack of income and zero support from the child’s father,job scarcity and zero social safety nets.

Poverty forces some of them into silence, dependence, or unhealthy situations simply because they need help. Hardship pushes many single parents and widows into being exploited, because so many of them are struggling just to feed their children.This is exactly what we see back home in Nigeria. So many single parents who come to my NGO have been through hell in the hands of predatory men,not because they want to, but because they have no choice. These stark realities point to the need for women to gain some forms of skills and acquire the capacities to become self reliant and an income earner.

That is why we see some mothers sending their little girls into marriages or into hands of older men.look at the public story of Regina.she insisted she wasn’t poor and later admitted she was the breadwinner of the family that God used to settle her mother.

When a child becomes the family survival plan,it is easy for society to push that child into adulthood before their time and this how childhood is stolen.

We need to do better and let kids be kids. It is not a child’s responsibility to provide for a family. It is a parent’s responsibility until the child becomes an adult, and even when they turn to adults, it is still not their responsibility to provide for the whole family.

Every woman should be proactive so she won’t become vulnerable in the hands of anyone. Because the truth is this: There are genuine good people and organizations who help the less privileged, especially disadvantaged women and children without expecting anything in return. I’m talking about people who give with pure intentions, who respect boundaries, and who offer support without turning a woman’s hardship into an opportunity for exploitation.

But there are far too many others whose “kindness” is nothing but strategy,whose real handwork is chasing after vulnerable women. These men disguise their intentions as charity. They pretend to be helpers, yet they prey on women’s weakest moments. They study women’s pain the way hunters study their prey, waiting for a moment of desperation to strike and these type of men are everywhere.

The difference is clear: Good men lift. Predatory men hunt.

This is why I always say: Every woman should have something doing,even if you are married to an odogwu.

Depending on someone 100% for survival is one of the most dangerous positions a woman can put herself in.Don’t just sit and wait for someone to decide when you and your children eat.
I cannot shrink myself into silence because the person feeding me today can also starve me tomorrow.

That kind of vulnerability is a cage,a beautiful cage sometimes,but a cage nonetheless.

A woman who has no income is one crisis away from begging,one heartbreak away from disaster and one disappointment away from loosing everything

Women need to hear this unapologetically.

Just stand up and build something,just anything that Carrie’s your name.
even if you are married the most generous man who gives you the world please still have something doing.
Because your income isn’t a threat to him but a safety net for you,a dignity for your children and a confidence for your voice.
It is a protection from exploitation,manipulation and disrespect.

Learn a handwork. Start a business, no matter how little. Be consistent. It must surely grow.

Financial independence is not just about money,it is about dignity because when a woman has her own money

1.Her voice becomes louder
2.Her confidence grows
3.Her choices expand
4.Her boundaries are respected
5.Her children are protected

Money does not buy happiness, but it buys options and options are everything. With income comes dignity. With dignity comes choice. With choice comes boundaries. With boundaries come peace and with peace comes the ability to raise innocent children.Children who are not forced to become adults too early.

Please mothers Protect your children from being sacrificed on the altar of poverty.By protecting your children you are restoring dignity where society has taken it. You break cycles many families never escape from.

And the truth remains
A divorced woman is not desperate.
A single parent is not weak.
A financially independent woman is not rebellious.
A child is not responsible for feeding a home.
A woman with income has dignity.
A woman with dignity has boundaries.
A woman with boundaries has peace.
A woman with peace raises children who remain children innocent, protected, and safe.

*MS. STACEY UKAOBASI is a Nigerian, USA based founder of the FORUM FOR CHILD RIGHTS PROMOTION, NIGERIA.

WRITTEN BY STACEY UKAOBASI .

For a long time, Nigeria has been trapped in a cycle of insecurity, fear, and corruption. Terrorists negotiate freely with politicians; they storm classrooms, abduct schoolgirls, and take them into the forest to do unimaginable things to them. Some of these girls escape — often with children born from their captors — while the rest never make it out alive. Their voices are silenced forever, their dreams buried in shallow graves deep in the forests.

The world once cried out for the Chibok girls, but that cry faded. Many of them are still missing. Some returned as mothers of the very men who destroyed their innocence. Others were never found, becoming nameless victims of a system that moves on too quickly. These girls symbolize the forgotten pain of thousands of Nigerian children abducted, abused, and abandoned while their government negotiates with their oppressors and calls it “peace”

Bandits roam freely across the country, protected by silence and political complicity. Christians in the north are slaughtered in their homes, children and pregnant women butchered like animals, churches, and schools burned down. Nowhere feels safe anymore not classrooms, not highways, not even churches and it this is not new.The Fulani herdsmen have taken over the roads, kidnapping travelers, demanding ransom, and still killing their victims even after payments are made. Mothers are murdered on their farms, and their children left to fend for themselves. To make matters worse, the gang of kidnappers have a way to add human organ harvesting as part of their assignments. The question to be asked is who are the patrons of these human organ harvesters and armed kidnappers? How did these semi-illiterates able to carry out surgical operations on their victims who couldn’t meet up with their ransome demands, or do they work closely with some surgeons?

Yet the politicians do not care. Their children are safely studying abroad, funded by looted national wealth hidden in foreign accounts. They live far removed from the pain, fear, and hunger of ordinary Nigerians. When the president of the united states recently spoke about bandits, their reaction was that he wanted to come for their “resources”— the very resources that have never benefited the citizens.

While these bandits are protected, activists are locked up.
One of the most prominent examples is Nnamdi Kanu, the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB). He spoke out fearlessly about injustice, marginalization, and the growing insecurity in the southeastern region and across Nigeria. He questioned the government’s silence on killings, kidnappings, and the systemic neglect of his people. His voice became a rallying cry for millions who felt forgotten — the poor, the oppressed, and the silence.

But instead of listening to his message, they chose to make him a prisoner. He has been detained for years without access to a fair trial or his lawyers, despite court rulings ordering his release. His case is no longer just about Biafra — it is about freedom of speech, about the right to question authority without being branded a criminal.In Nigeria today, telling the truth has become a crime. Those who destroy lives walk free, while those who demand justice are thrown behind bars.

Even religious leaders have become afraid to speak. Many of them tread carefully, fearful that one wrong word could make them the next target. The killings, the kidnappings, the destruction — much of it never makes it to the media. Countless massacres are buried in silence because showing the truth would expose the magnitude of the nation’s rot. The media is either censored, threatened, or paid to look away.

Meanwhile, the poor masses continue to suffer. Families can not afford three square meals. How can a child focus in class when hunger and fear are constant companions? Countless children are displaced, their parents killed, their futures stolen, and yet, our leaders boldly claim that Nigeria is not a country of concern.

Unemployment has driven the youth into despair. Young men do whatever it takes to survive. Young girls are pushed into prostitution, not out of desire, but out of hunger and hopelessness.

Even worse, the same men in power those meant to protect the people are often the predators. They encourage and practice child marriage, using money and influence to silence families. I once had a neighbour in Abuja who would let a powerful man come pick up her 16-year-old daughter. He gave them money-alot of it. Years later, this same man married a 16-year-old actress. It makes you wonder what it is about underage girls that attracts men like this?

When these girls try to escape the marriage, they are threatened, their families intimidated, and some of their families are even arrested until the girls return to the marriage. This cycle happens every day in Nigeria “pedophiles in power preying on innocent children while hiding under the cover of tradition and wealth.

In Nigeria, there is no real law protecting the child. How can there be when those in charge of enforcing the law are the very ones violating it? The practice of child marriage continues openly because the same people in government are the beneficiaries.

Now, hopelessness has reached its peak. Many Nigerians dream only of leaving the country,a desperate escape they call “japa”For those lucky enough to get a visa, it’s not about luxury or comfort; it’s survival. They leave because they see no solid future in a nation that has failed to protect its own. But countless others are denied visas and forced to stay behind, trapped in a system that crushes ambition, talent, and hope.

THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT SHOULD RESTORE HOPE BY PROTECTING THE NIGERIAN PEOPLE.

It doesn’t have to stay this way. Nigeria can still be rebuilt but not by words by action.
1. Justice and Accountability-
Those responsible for killings, abductions, and abuse of power must face justice, no matter their title or position. Selective silence must end. Activists and truth-tellers like Nnamdi Kanu deserve fair treatment, not indefinite detention. Freedom of speech must never be treated as rebellion.
2. Child Protection Laws:
Nigeria must enforce a national ban on child marriage and pedophilia, with clear penalties for offenders — no matter how influential. The Child Rights Act must be fully implemented across all states, with dedicated agencies to monitor and prosecute violators.
3. Security and Truth:
The military and police must be depoliticized. Security agencies should protect citizens, not intimidate them. Religious and community leaders must regain their courage to speak, and the media must tell the truth, no matter the cost.
4. Education and Rehabilitation:
Every rescued child especially abducted girls – deserves trauma care, education, and reintegration. Schools must once again be safe spaces, not hunting grounds, for terrorists.
5. Empowering the Youth:
Job creation, skill development, and youth empowerment programs are the only way to restore hope. No young person should have to only JAPA to find safety or dignity.
6. Global Attention:
The international community must not look away. Global organizations and human rights bodies should pressure Nigeria’s leaders to uphold justice, protect citizens, and end the persecution of children, activists, and journalists.

Until Nigeria learns to protect its children, it can not protect its future.
Until the government stops silencing truth tellers and starts confronting the real enemies of the people, the country will remain enslaved by fear and corruption.

A nation that can not keep its daughters safe, feed its children, or listen to its youth has already lost its soul. But it is not too late if we rise together to defend what still remains.
OUR HUMANITY,OUR CHILDREN AND OUR FUTURE.

Stacey Ukaobasi is a Nigerian based in the USA. She is the founder of the FORUM FOR CHILD RIGHTS PROMOTION, NIGERIA.

By David Owei,Bayelsa

The National Leadership of the Niger Delta APC Youth Vanguard, the umbrella body of committed All Progressives Congress (APC) youths across the nine Niger Delta states comprising ex-agitators, party stakeholders, and human rights activists, have condemned in totality, the false allegations and cheap blackmail targeted against the Administrator of the Presidential Amnesty Programme (PAP), Chief Dr. Dennis Brutu Otuaro.

The group made its position known during an emergency press conference held in the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja to address what it described as “an unfortunate wave of fabricated stories and politically motivated blackmail being circulated by a few disgruntled individuals uncomfortable with the transparent and excellent work being done by Dr. Otuaro in the Amnesty Office.

According to the Niger Delta APC Youth Vanguard, in a statement read to newsmen and signed by the President/ National Coordinator, Snr. Comrade Emmanuel Fiawei Pathfinder And National Secetary, Dr. AK Peters, totally condemn, in strong terms, these baseless and malicious allegations sponsored by misguided, unpatriotic, and disgruntled elements, whom are best described as idols of underdevelopment in the region.

According to the group, these agents of distraction have chosen the path of falsehood and blackmail rather than contributing to peace and progress, simply because they cannot withstand the visible transformation and transparency that Chief Dr. Otuaro has brought to the Presidential Amnesty Programme in line with President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, GCFR’s Renewed Hope Agenda.

The group stated that “Since assuming office, Chief Dr. Otuaro has demonstrated visionary, pragmatic, foresighted, and transparent leadership that has repositioned and transformed the Presidential Amnesty Programme from a transactional initiative benefitting a few individuals into a credible, people-oriented, and transparent human-capital development platform.”

“Under his administration, the PAP has:
Implemented large-scale vocational and technical training programmes for ex-agitators, Niger Delta youths, and women both within Nigeria and in reputable international institutions in the United Kingdom and other countries, in line with Mr. President’s Renewed Hope mantra.Expanded educational scholarship opportunities, professional certification, maritime, and seafaring training to global standards for human capacity building.”

” He Promoted a culture of accountability, transparency, inclusiveness, and open-door governance, engaging critical stakeholders, traditional rulers, and youth leaders across the region and Aligned the Amnesty Programme with President Tinubu’s Renewed Hope Agenda, transforming Niger Delta youths from agitation to productivity, and from restiveness to responsible nation-building.”

“Through his dynamic and people-oriented leadership, the Amnesty Programme has become a cornerstone of sustainable peace, socio-economic growth, and development in the Niger Delta.”

The Niger Delta APC Youth Vanguard also commended High Chief Tompolo for his patriotic commitment to safeguarding national assets and securing Nigeria’s oil and gas infrastructure.

According to the group, ” Tompolo, through Tantita Security Services Nigeria Limited, Tompolo has played a key role in boosting Nigeria’s crude oil production, which has risen from under 900,000 barrels per day to nearly 2 million barrels per day. His collaboration with security agencies has ensured relative peace, protection of vital infrastructure, and restoration of confidence in Nigeria’s oil and gas operations.”

The group noted that together, Dr. Otuaru and Government Ekpemupolo represent a new era of responsible leadership, partnership, and patriotism in the Niger Delta, in perfect alignment with President Tinubu’s vision of national unity, prosperity, and inclusive growth.

The group however warned against Political Sabotage and Blackmail, warning those circulating fabricated allegations and malicious propaganda against these respected sons of the Niger Delta to desist immediately.

The group described such campaigns of deceit and character assassination as not only counterproductive but also as direct attacks on the peace, stability, and economic progress currently being enjoyed under President Tinubu’s leadership.

The Niger Delta APC Youth Vanguard declared that it will no longer tolerate any form of cheap blackmail or unfounded allegations orchestrated by known enemies of peace and development in the region. Should these unpatriotic actors persist, the group said it would have no choice but to declare them “enemies of peace and economic stability” in the Niger Delta.

The group however declared that in view of Chief Dr. Otuaru’s unprecedented achievements, transparent governance, and loyalty to the APC and the Renewed Hope Agenda of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the National Leadership of the Niger Delta APC Youth Vanguard hereby passes a resounding Vote of Confidence on Chief Dr. Dennis Brutu Otuaru, Administrator of the Presidential Amnesty Programme.

The group also recognizes and appreciates High Chief Tompolo for his outstanding contributions to peace and economic stability in the Niger Delta region.

“The Niger Delta APC Youth Vanguard reaffirms its unalloyed loyalty, full support, and total commitment to the visionary leadership of Dr. Otuaru, and to the Renewed Hope Administration of President Tinubu.”