Connect with us

Opinion

Sustaining Dignity in Womanhood

Published

on

MS. STACEY UKAOBASI

By Stacey Ukaobasi

Divorced women in Africa and even in western countries carry a weight heavier than the separation itself. Society often refuses to see them as individuals rebuilding their lives. Instead, people watch them with suspicion, pass negative judgments, or view them as persons with entitlement mentality, and this assessments are made especially by men who suddenly assume that divorce or separation from ones spouse makes her cheaply available as a plaything.

A divorced woman recently shared a painful but common story. After her divorce, men she respected,married family friends, trusted acquaintances, even people she once saw as role models suddenly began hitting on her. Some asked to visit her house. Others tried to position themselves as “helpers” but with clear ulterior motives.

This is a young, beautiful, God fearing,hardworking and well established woman who has her own values and knows exactly the kind of man she would ever consider. Yet these men assumed that because she is divorced, she must be desperate,lonely,available, or automatically attracted to them. And when she politely rejected them, they felt insulted.These men lacked the emotional intelligence to understand one simple truth.A woman being divorced does not automatically make you her type. People have a type or what modern people call my spec. Divorce does not reset that.

Too many men lack the awareness to know that a woman’s divorce does not suddenly make her open to anyone.They even feel insulted when she says, “You are not my type”and while some divorced women can boldly reject such men, many others become extremely vulnerable not by choice but by circumstance.

In Nigeria especially,many single mothers face lack of income and zero support from the child’s father,job scarcity and zero social safety nets.

Poverty forces some of them into silence, dependence, or unhealthy situations simply because they need help. Hardship pushes many single parents and widows into being exploited, because so many of them are struggling just to feed their children.This is exactly what we see back home in Nigeria. So many single parents who come to my NGO have been through hell in the hands of predatory men,not because they want to, but because they have no choice. These stark realities point to the need for women to gain some forms of skills and acquire the capacities to become self reliant and an income earner.

That is why we see some mothers sending their little girls into marriages or into hands of older men.look at the public story of Regina.she insisted she wasn’t poor and later admitted she was the breadwinner of the family that God used to settle her mother.

When a child becomes the family survival plan,it is easy for society to push that child into adulthood before their time and this how childhood is stolen.

We need to do better and let kids be kids. It is not a child’s responsibility to provide for a family. It is a parent’s responsibility until the child becomes an adult, and even when they turn to adults, it is still not their responsibility to provide for the whole family.

Every woman should be proactive so she won’t become vulnerable in the hands of anyone. Because the truth is this: There are genuine good people and organizations who help the less privileged, especially disadvantaged women and children without expecting anything in return. I’m talking about people who give with pure intentions, who respect boundaries, and who offer support without turning a woman’s hardship into an opportunity for exploitation.

But there are far too many others whose “kindness” is nothing but strategy,whose real handwork is chasing after vulnerable women. These men disguise their intentions as charity. They pretend to be helpers, yet they prey on women’s weakest moments. They study women’s pain the way hunters study their prey, waiting for a moment of desperation to strike and these type of men are everywhere.

The difference is clear: Good men lift. Predatory men hunt.

This is why I always say: Every woman should have something doing,even if you are married to an odogwu.

Depending on someone 100% for survival is one of the most dangerous positions a woman can put herself in.Don’t just sit and wait for someone to decide when you and your children eat.
I cannot shrink myself into silence because the person feeding me today can also starve me tomorrow.

That kind of vulnerability is a cage,a beautiful cage sometimes,but a cage nonetheless.

A woman who has no income is one crisis away from begging,one heartbreak away from disaster and one disappointment away from loosing everything

Women need to hear this unapologetically.

Just stand up and build something,just anything that Carrie’s your name.
even if you are married the most generous man who gives you the world please still have something doing.
Because your income isn’t a threat to him but a safety net for you,a dignity for your children and a confidence for your voice.
It is a protection from exploitation,manipulation and disrespect.

Learn a handwork. Start a business, no matter how little. Be consistent. It must surely grow.

Financial independence is not just about money,it is about dignity because when a woman has her own money

1.Her voice becomes louder
2.Her confidence grows
3.Her choices expand
4.Her boundaries are respected
5.Her children are protected

Money does not buy happiness, but it buys options and options are everything. With income comes dignity. With dignity comes choice. With choice comes boundaries. With boundaries come peace and with peace comes the ability to raise innocent children.Children who are not forced to become adults too early.

Please mothers Protect your children from being sacrificed on the altar of poverty.By protecting your children you are restoring dignity where society has taken it. You break cycles many families never escape from.

And the truth remains
A divorced woman is not desperate.
A single parent is not weak.
A financially independent woman is not rebellious.
A child is not responsible for feeding a home.
A woman with income has dignity.
A woman with dignity has boundaries.
A woman with boundaries has peace.
A woman with peace raises children who remain children innocent, protected, and safe.

*MS. STACEY UKAOBASI is a Nigerian, USA based founder of the FORUM FOR CHILD RIGHTS PROMOTION, NIGERIA.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Opinion

Benin Republic Coup: ADC hails FG’s Intervention, ….Demands Similar Resolve in Fighting Insecurity — Says best safeguard for democracy is good governance

Published

on

By

ADC logo

By George Mgbeleke

The African Democratic Congress (ADC) has welcomed Nigeria’s swift intervention in the Benin Republic after a coup attempt but urged the Federal Government to apply similar decisiveness in combating insurgency and banditry in the country.

In a statement by its National Publicity Secretary, Mallam Bolaji Abdullahi, the party noted that the government’s ability to act quickly, however, throws into sharp relief its slow and haphazard response to the banditry and violent crime devastating communities across Nigeria.

The party also expressed great concern about growing democratic reversal in the region, stressing that the best safeguard for democracy is good governance anchored on improved livelihood for the majority and tolerance for opposition.

The full statement read:

“The African Democratic Congress (ADC) welcomes Nigeria’s swift intervention in the Benin Republic following the announcement of a coup attempt. We commend the Federal Government for acting promptly to defend constitutional order in our neighbourhood.
However, in doing so, the government must now take the necessary steps to align this intervention with the legal provisions of our Constitution. While the unilateral action taken by the President might have been expedient, it still has to be subjected to the ratification of the National Assembly as required by the relevant sections of our Constitution for military or security deployment outside Nigeria’s borders.

“Even in commending the government, ADC cannot ignore the question that many Nigerians are already asking: why were we not as swift in responding to the crisis in Guinea-Bissau, even when a former Nigerian President was trapped there during a period of instability? That hesitation stands in sharp contrast to yesterday’s urgency. What changed? What determines when Nigeria acts firmly and when it delays?

“Consistency in our mode of operations, especially when it comes to our foreign interventions, is essential for any country that seeks to lead the sub-region on issues of democracy and stability. This selective reaction indeed gives credence to the allegation that what played out in Benin was at the behest of another, more powerful country.”

Continuing the party noted,”importantly, the government’s demonstrated ability to move quickly in Benin raises an even deeper concern. If Nigeria could respond decisively to threats across our borders, why has our government demonstrated such outrageous incompetence in dealing with domestic insecurity? Why has the government failed to respond with similar urgency and decisiveness even as banditry, terrorism, and violent crime still hold many of our communities hostage, displace families, abduct children, and parade themselves openly?

“A government that can act swiftly abroad must also act decisively at home. The defence of democracy does not begin in neighbouring countries; it begins in the protection of Nigerian lives, the restoration of security, and the rebuilding of trust between citizens and the state.

“Without prejudice to our fundamental opposition to any form of extra-constitutional takeover of government, we reiterate that the best possible safeguard against military adventurism is for elected governments to make democracy meaningful to the people by improving their lives and allowing opposition to thrive and alternative voices to be heard.”

Continue Reading

General News

Insecurity: APC Govs meet in Lagos, resolve to forestall banditry attacks

Published

on

By

APC logo

Apparently disturbed by the ravaging attacks of bandits in some parts of the country, Progressive Governors’ Forum have resolved to strengthen local security towards preventing possible attacks that could truncate the development in their states.

The governors stated that strengthening community-based security initiatives and better intelligence gathering from the grassroots were identified as major antidote to gunmen attacks across the country.

The communique issued by the governors on Saturday after a two-day meeting in Lagos where security, economy, and social welfare issues were reviewed with the aim to address hurdles that may affect growth and development in the country.

The communique was read by the chairman of the Forum, Governor Hope Nzodimma of Imo State.

Governors in attendance attendance included: Kebbi, Dr. Nasir Idris, Edo, Senator Monday Okpebholo, Ogun, Dapo Abiodun, Ekiti, Biodun Oyebanji, Ondo, Lucky Aiyedatiwa, Sokoto, Ahmad Aliyu, Akwa-Ibom, Pastor Umo Eno, Delta, Sheriff Oborevwori, Enugu, Peter Mbah, Kaduna, Uba Sani and Katsina, Dikko Umar.

The host Governor, Mr Babajide Sanwo-Olu said, “The engagement provided an opportunity to review the nation’s current trajectory, deepen coordination among progressive governors, and reaffirm the Forum’s unwavering support for the Renewed Hope agenda of His Excellency President Bola Ahmed Tinubu GCFR.

According to the governors on platform of the All Progressives Congress (APC), the decision to embark on strengthening local security architecture was taking after a review of the security situation across the country particularly as it affects each states.

The Forum reviewed the security situation across the country and expressed appreciation for the improved coordination between federal, state and local security structures, as well as the courage and sacrifices of security agencies and community volunteers.

The Forum commended the President for the ongoing re-engineering in the security architecture of the country.

Governors reiterated that safety of lives and property remains a non-negotiable obligation of government.

The PGF resolved to continue strengthening community-based security initiatives, intelligence gathering, conflict-prevention mechanisms and support for victims of violence and disaster.

The Forum underscored the importance of social cohesion, inter-faith harmony and inter-ethnic understanding, and urged all leaders to use their voices and platforms to promote unity, moderation and respect, while isolating criminality and hate speech in all its forms.

“The meeting served as an important platform for aligning state-level priorities with national reforms, reinforcing the centrality of citizens, citizens’ welfare in governance, and consolidating the Forum’s shared vision of people focused and development-driven leadership at all levels of government.

“The Forum undertook a broad review of the political, economic, and social environment in the country.

“Governors reaffirmed that the ultimate purpose of every reform must be to improve the lives of Nigerians, protect their dignity, and expand opportunities for all, rural and urban, youth and elderly, women and men, workers, entrepreneurs, and vulnerable groups alike.

“The Forum noted ongoing efforts at food security, power sector improvement, transport and infrastructure upgrades, social investment, and support for productive enterprises, and pledged to align state policies to maximise the benefits of these reforms for citizens in every ward and in our communities.

The Progressive Governors Forum resolved to intensify state-level interventions in areas such as food production and distribution, support to small and medium-scale enterprises, youth employment, social protection for the poorest and most vulnerable, and targeted relief for workers and low-income households.

“We, the Progressive Governors, are committed to working closely with federal institutions, the National Economic Council and local governments to ensure that things keep improving, that no group is left behind, and that the gains of reforms continue to translate into visible improvement in the quality of life of the people.”

Continue Reading

Opinion

Setting the Record Straight on the Defamation Case Involving Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan

Published

on

By

Senator Naþ

By Jackson Udom

On 5 December 2025, Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan again resorted to social media to claim incorrectly and misleadingly that His Excellency, the President of the Senate, Distinguished Senator Godswill Akpabio, had only just filed a multi-billion-naira defamation suit against her over her unfounded allegations of sexual misconduct.

These allegations, as the public is well aware, have never been supported by a single shred of evidence before the Senate Committee or before any competent authority.

For the avoidance of doubt, the facts are clear, verifiable, and already before the court.

Following Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan’s grave and unsubstantiated accusations capable of inflicting severe reputational damage, Senator Akpabio exercised his constitutional right to seek legal redress. The suit was filed over three months ago. Its progress was temporarily delayed by routine administrative processes and the normal judicial procedures.

Upon the resumption of judicial activities on the file, several attempts were made by the court’s bailiff to personally serve Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan with the originating processes. Each attempt failed due to her deliberate evasion of service, as deposed to under oath in the bailiff’s affidavit now before the court. Only after these repeated evasions did the court, in November this year granted the application for substituted service.

Her claim that the matter was “just filed” is therefore false, misleading, and intended to distort public understanding of the case.

We reiterate that legal disputes are resolved in courtrooms, not through orchestrated narratives and staged outrage on social-media platforms. The online applause Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan habitually seeks cannot replace credible evidence, legal procedure, or judicial scrutiny.

This behaviour is consistent with her pattern during her six-month Senate suspension, an entirely lawful disciplinary measure she sought to delegitimise through digital agitation, only to ultimately serve the suspension in full.

It is time for Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan to present the “evidence” she claims to possess before a court of competent jurisdiction, rather than relying on sensationalised commentary designed solely to attract sympathy and obscure the facts.

The law is guided by proof, procedure, and due process, not sentiment, not emotion, and certainly not social-media theatrics. She is advised to properly instruct her lawyers, file her defence, and finally provide the evidence she purports to have for the baseless allegations she has peddled over this matter.

This is that her golden opportunity. The public, the media, and the legal community now await her defence to the unsubstantiated accusations capable .

Udom is Special Assistant To President Of The Senate On Media.

Continue Reading

Latest

Uncategorized8 hours ago

NDDC honours 203 staff with long service awards

By Magnus Chukwudi, Port Harcourt The Niger Delta Development Commission, NDDC, has honoured 203 staff at its ‘2025 Long Service’...

Uncategorized9 hours ago

Tinubu Orders Withdrawal Of Police Escorts From Ministers …..As Senate boils over detachment of Police Orderlies from Senators …..call for exemption

By George Mgbeleke President Bola Tinubu has directed the withdrawal of police officers attached to ministers and other top government...

Sports10 hours ago

‎Niger Delta Sports Festival Organizers Announce Commencement of Registration

By David Owei ,Bayelsa ‎ ‎The organizers of the Niger Delta Sports Festival have announced the commencement for the registration...

Sports10 hours ago

‎Niger Delta Sports Festival Organizers Announce Commencement of Registration ‎ ‎The organizers of the Niger Delta Sports Festival have announced the commencement for the registration of athletes for the 2nd edition of the games slated for ‎Benin City, the Edo State capital. ‎ ‎Bayelsa State defeated perennial rivals, Delta to emerge champions of the inaugural edition of the festival held at Uyo, Akwa Ibom State. ‎ ‎This was disclosed by the Director of Operations, Mr. Fred Edoreh in a meeting with states’ liaison secretaries and Directors of Sports of the various participating states. ‎ ‎According to him, registration of the athletes will commence from Thursday 11th December, 2025 through the 10th of January, and states are advised to adhere strictly to the guidelines of the registration for the games. ‎ ‎He noted that the technical support for the registration would be sent to the respective states, pointing out that this year’s fiesta would witness a tremendous improvement over the previous edition in Akwa Ibom State.

‎By David Owei, Bayelsa ‎The organizers of the Niger Delta Sports Festival have announced the commencement for the registration of...

Law & Crime10 hours ago

Glo Mobile, NCC, Megatech Sued over breach of contract, refusal to pay USD 9, 578, 947 contractual fee

By Abdul-Ganiyy Akanbi Telecommunication giant, Glo Mobile Limited, Nigerian Communication Commission (NCC) and an indigenous company, Megatech Engineering Limited have...

General News11 hours ago

Edo delivering on SDGs, empowers 3000 women— Okpebholo

By Our Correspondent The Edo Government says it has intensified measures through various innovative programmes to ensure full and prompt...

Entertainment19 hours ago

Niger Delta MSME Summit: Entrepreneurs Get Grants Worth Millions of Naira, As Diri, Siasia, Others Urge Youths To Strive For Success

By David Owei, Bayelsa At least ten Small & Medium Scale (SMEs) business owners from the Niger Delta region on...

Business & Economy22 hours ago

Bank Charges:Reps C’ttee Gives Commercial Banks 4-Days Deadline to Submit Requested Documents on Deductions

By Our Correspondent To guide against fraudulent practices in the nation’s financial institutions, an Ad-hoc Committee of the House of...

General News22 hours ago

Senate Summons Education Minister over plot to implement new curriculum

By Our Correspondent The Senate on Tuesday at plenary mandated its Committee on Basic and Secondary Education to summon the...

Uncategorized22 hours ago

Senate decries high air fares, summons Aviation Minister for explanation

By George Mgbeleke Disturbed by public outcry over the rising domestic airfares within Nigeria, the Senate has summoned the Minister...

Trending